• Valjean: Thenardier would sell his own kids for a grape.
  • Thenardier: Are you making an offer? I mean… NO, I would NOT!
  • Grantaire: If you don’t tell me your name, I’m going to have to make one up.
  • Enjolras: It’s Enjolras.
  • Grantaire: Enjolras, no way! That’s the name I was going to make up for you. Enjolras what?
  • Enjolras: Just Enjolras.
  • Grantaire: What, they don’t have last names where you come from?
  • Enjolras: Enjolras is my last name.
  • Grantaire: They don’t have… first names where you come from?

I only accept apologies in cash.

Eponine, Book III

I was listening to a screamo song for fun and I heard all this extra yelling. I thought it was part of the song, but then I realized it was just my family arguing

Eponine, Book IX

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Marius Pontmercy, Book III

If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.

Cosette, Book III

Fuck it. I’m inadequate. What can you do?

Grantaire, Book III

She was ugly as sin but still beautiful, like a Persian cat who just took a bath and is not happy about it.

Victor Hugo describing Eponine, Book III

There’s no alcohol in here. Are you trying to poison me!?

Grantaire, Book X

Concerning Courfeyrac, we might almost stop here, and merely say: for Courfeyrac, see Thomolyès. Except Courfeyrac wasn’t an asshole.

Victor Hugo introducing the Friends of the ABC, Book IV